I Cant
by hundan
Summary: Tony and Ziva have one night together, they both want to be together but Ziva believes he deserves more than her and lets him go... What happens when they see each other day by day and try to move on when their hearts still belong to each other
1. Chapter 1

**I know I have two other stories going but this has been in my head a few days and I had to write it. I will update the others when I get more ideas on them; hopefully getting the start of this out of my head will help. This story was inspired by Missy Higgins song Where I stood. **

It was Friday night and Ziva and the team had had a tough week, a big case but they caught the basted this afternoon that killed and raped four navel woman. Now Ziva sat on Tony's couch as he got the second round of beers for them, they were part way through a movie which they had put on after they had pizza for dinner. Tony returned and took his seat next to Ziva as he gave her a new beer. He took a swig of his and lent back on the couch. They hadn't done this in a while and they had only begun to start doing it again, it was good, Ziva wasn't lonely in her apartment on a Friday night. Tony was explaining something about the movie but Ziva wasn't paying much attention, she was paying more attention to how he was moving closer to her as the night went on, it was really getting to her how close he was getting she had to control the erg to jump him with the way his musky colon mixed with the intoxicating sent of him was being masked over her, and the way his lips looked so kissable… she had to stop thinking these thoughts before she lost it.

"Ziva are you even listening to me?" she shook her head and snapped out of her thoughts and focused on him when he said her name

"Huh? You were saying something about the movie" he smiled, she so wasn't listening to him, maybe he began to ramble on a bit to much

"No I was asking if you wanted another beer, you've finished yours" she held up her empty bottle and looked at it, when had she drunk that? She handed it to him

"Yeah ok" he took her empty bottle with his and went and got the third round. As he sat down next to her this time he sat shoulder to shoulder touching his body to the length of hers. She took the bottle from his hand and their fingers brushed against each other, he looked at her and she looked at him, the movie totally forgotten by the both of them.

They each took a swig of their beer and then focused on each other, for some reason they just sat their looking and some thing was beginning to overwhelm them. Ziva began thinking back to her earlier thoughts at the closeness of him to her. Tony was thinking much the same and he thought to himself about if he should risk making a move, he wanted to be with her and commit to her he had known that for a long time now. Tony put his beer on the coffee table after taking another drink and she watched and copied his actions, now they sat facing each other. Ziva had a feeling of what was about to happen as Tony slowly leaned forward and he watched her face intently, they had been avoiding this for a very very long time and they both needed this. Ziva had strong feelings for Tony that she had known of ever since the Jeanne fiasco and she had wanted him for a long time, to be with him. Tony's feelings mirrored Ziva's he wanted her to be more than a simple one night stand and he knew if she didn't stop him from acting on it she did too because they both knew the risk for this was high and they would not go ahead and simply sleep together for the sake of their partnership, so when his lips touched hers and she kissed back it was a silent agreement that they would try this together, them being together.

As she kissed him back his hands found their way to the side of her head, she knew he liked to do that so he could deepen the kiss, she had remembered that from when they first kissed undercover. Her hands went to press against his chest pushing him back into the couch as she lifted herself onto his lap straddling him. The kiss began to become really heated; their tongues entwined both battling for dominance. As his hands ran from her neck down over her shoulders and down her back to rest on her waist just above the hem of her shirt she pushed herself closer to him, wanting to feel him against her core.

She could feel him through his work slacks pressing into her against her jeans, and the way she was pushing against him he needed to feel more of her skin. He broke the kiss as he grabbed the hem of her shirt and pulled it over her head tossing it across the floor, his hands went straight to her newly exposed skin grabbing at the sides of her waist just above her hips. He latched his lips back to hers, devouring her in a passionate kiss. Her fingers went to work on his buttons on his shirt; making quick work of them she pushed it off his shoulders. His hands moved up and feathery cupped her through her bra, when she reached behind her and removed the latch of her bra his hands removed the garment and when his hands went back to her breasts they were not light they were firm and pleasing as he played with her.

He removed his mouth from hers and brought it down to her breast where he took her in his hot mouth, she moaned and her lips went to his shoulder where she kissed him. After toying with her in his mouth he drifted his hands south to the front of her jeans, her unbuttoned her. He was not going to get these jeans off her with her straddling him like this so he abruptly stood picking her up, she stood on her feet in front of him as he pulled her jeans off her, as he did she unlatched his belt and dropped his slacks to the ground. As he removed her jeans he pulled her panties off as well and as she reached to remove his boxers he caught her lips in his distracting her and he span them round and dropped her onto the couch. She watched him as he dropped to his knees in front of her on the couch.

He smiled at her before he leant forward and stole her lips with his, as he did he ran his hand from her knee and up her thigh. She shivered at the contact and she gasped as he pushed one of his fingers inside of her. His lips found their way to her neck where he licked and kissed her. He could hear her panted breaths as he entered a second finger inside of her, he stroked them in and out and she moaned when he hooked his fingers inside of her. She racked her fingers up his back as he pushed his thumb against her bundle of nerves, it was going to surely going to leave marks but he didn't care he was to aroused to feel it.

He removed his fingers as he felt her tighten around his fingers; he brought his mouth back to hers. As he kissed her she shifted forward on his couch and slipped her hand down into his boxers, he almost died at the feel of her hand clamping around him. He lost all focus in the kiss when she began to stroke him; his mouth went back to her neck. His mouth softly bit down on her neck as she fastened her hand, and he soothed the marks with his tongue after he did. He could feel himself getting to his high and he grabbed her hand with his to stop her before he got wasted.

Her smirk at him was the biggest smile of overpowering defeat she had seen her give him, she was always trying to out do him and she just had. They both stood without a word and they stumbled towards his bedroom in the dark with the only light of the TV gone as they entered the hallway. Ziva suddenly pushed him up against the wall and Tony could feel the smirk on her face as she went down onto her knees. He felt her remove his boxers and then he felt her soft lips clasp around him as she took him in her mouth.

He lent his head back against the wall; this was the best head he had ever had before, the way her lips and tongue would move around him. He thought he was ready to explode when her hand that wasn't working the base of his erection came up to play with his balls. He moaned and tried to form an understandable sentence

"Zee…Vah…you …have…to …stop" she did as soon as the words left his mouth and she was back face to face with him in a second

"Did you not enjoy that?" she said in a sultry voice. He could just see the smile on her face; he took a few breaths to form a sentence

"Yes I did…very much but…your killing me when you do that…and I want to come inside you" she pushed herself fully against him, rubbing herself against on him

"I like the sound of that" and she took off down his dark hallway to his bedroom. He followed straight after her, but on his way down the hallway he smacked his face where his eyebrow was on something and it hurt

"Fuck" he continued down the hallway forgetting about it when he saw her sitting on the edge of his bed giving him a look like she wanted to eat him. He approached her

"How did you not see the shelf in your hallway Tony?" he smiled as he took her lips in his

"Because it was dark and I don't have ninja night vision like you"

He pushed her up his bed as he kissed her; she spread her legs open for him as he came in between them. He lent back and looked at her as he pushed himself into her, she moaned his name, and he formed some unrecognisable grunt. He pulled back and then pounded back into her, she brought her mouth to his shoulder and as he pounded in again she bit down hard in pleasure, if he could see his face he properly would have seen his eyes roll back into their sockets it felt that good. He fastened his pace and she arched into him pushing against him. When his hand went to her bundle of nerves and pushed down she sunk her teeth higher up into where his neck joined his shoulder, she was ruff and he was pretty sure he was going to have a stroke as it was so good. His hands went to her hips and gripped them tight with the same roughness and he pounded as fast and hard as he could and she broke apart and came gripping around him, he came as soon as she did.

As they came down from their high she snuggled into him. They moved under the covers of his bed and snuggled up together

"Ziva?" she ran her finger over his chest

"Yes Tony" he ran his hand through her hair

"I don't want anyone else Ziva" she looked up into his eyes

"Neither do I"

"I want to be with you forever…I love you" Ziva was surprised at these feelings but the words formed in her mouth and came out

"I love you too" he kissed her softly and pulled her close. He drifted to sleep but Ziva had thoughts on her mind.

How could she say she loved him, she wasn't even sure if she did, yeah she did but she wasn't ready and she couldn't have not said it. Here he is giving her all his love, she doesn't deserve him and he deserves better than her she can't even tell if she is ready to love him. She has never been one who loves so she is not sure she should do this to him, bring him down with her she isn't worth it to him and he must know. He should have someone who can love him and not strain his heart or break his heart he deserves that. She will break his heart for the last time if they do this and she can't believe she didn't think this before doing what they just did, she will have to let him go so he is out of her harmful way, she cares too much to hurt him with her weakness and dark past. And she does not want to wreck their partnership if she hasn't already so she will let him go so he can have a proper woman who will love him and he will love her, he can have a happy life and not be torn apart by someone who is lost in themselves like she is, he deserves love and she doesn't think she can give that to him because she is damaged goods.

**Ok this story is not going to be a full happy romance like I normally do because in real life times cannot be fairytales for everything so this will be about the heart break and love that these two have to realise and as they try move on things don't seem that easy. Please review… Hundan**


	2. Chapter 2

Ziva hadn't had much sleep last night, Tony had slept peacefully and she couldn't think to face him this morning. She didn't know what she was going to say so he would understand but she was going to try to say what she thought he would understand. He woke and she was still in his arms. She couldn't just leave without explaining herself, and as he woke he turned to her seeing she was awake and smiled

"Good Morning Zi" and he lent down and kissed her, she automatically kissed him back but then as he rolled her under him and deepened the kiss she pushed him back

"Tony I have to say something" he lent down and kissed her and when she didn't kiss back he worried. She pushed him off her and she sat up, he also sat up in panic on what he did wrong

"Zi what's wrong?" she couldn't look at him, she just couldn't

"Tony I cannot do this to you, destroy your heart with my worthlessness I am not good for you, you deserve better, I know I said I loved you last night but I do not think I am ready yet and your giving me what I can not give you yet, I am sorry but I can not do this to you" and she was up and out off the bed heading down the hallway. As soon as she was up he was following, picking his boxers up from the hallway and putting them on as he walked into the lounge. She had her bra and panties back on and now putting her jeans on. He walked up to her grabbing her arm turning her to face him

"Zi what are you talking about. Stop" she finally looked up at him and her eyes were teary

"I can not Tony, I will not hurt you. You will find someone who loves you and you will be happy. I want to protect our partnership and when I hurt you it will be destroyed, I do not want that" he brought his hand up to her cheek

"But Zi last night-" a tear escaped her eyes rolling down her cheek and he saw it as she pulled away stopping his words coming out of his mouth

"We can pretend like that did not happen, it will only make this harder I should have not done it" she picked up her top and pulled it over her head as she walked to the door, he chased her

"Ziva! Wait don't go!" and she was out the door running away, he stepped out the door and watched her disappear

"Ziva" he whispered. A tear escaped his own eyes and he walked back inside and slammed his door shut. He was pissed at himself for screwing his chance with her; he knew he should have waited. He walked down the hallway absolutely mad and he finally snapped when he saw his empty bed with his sheets everywhere and he turned and punched his door with such force splinting the wood and leaving a fist size dent in it. And fuck that really hurt but he was so pissed off he didn't care. He started pacing up and down his hallway then he finally dropped to the floor and lent against the wall, he ran his hands through his hair; he hated himself for pushing himself onto Ziva too soon.

Ziva had run leaving his apartment, she got as far as her car before she started to break down and cry. She had hurt Tony she could see it on his face but if she hadn't done it now it would be worse the closer they got together. And she couldn't stand to hurt him more than she just did, but she had to do it, he needed someone to give back what he was giving and she thought of herself as incapable to do that. She cried and then pulled herself together so she could drive home. As she drove home she thought about what was going to happen. She would be normal to him at work so their partnership would still be ok, but she knew it would never be the same as it could be but she knew it would be better than what it would be if she continued this relationship and eventually broke his heart because she was unable to be the love he needed because she was damaged and like a ticking bomb that would explode his heart at any moment because she was raised to be heartless and unlovable.

Tony sat there staring at his hands and after a while of blankness in his mind he got up and slumped into the shower. When he carelessly padded out of the shower and down the hall his phone began to ring, he ran to it hoping it was Ziva. To his disappointment it was Gibbs, that's just what he needed right now

"DiNozzo" he said weakly without care

"We have a case DiNozzo be in the office in thirty minutes" Gibbs ordered

"Ok" and he hung up. He really didn't need a case right now; he hadn't talked to Ziva yet. He got dressed hardly bothering to do his tie properly up, he looked in the mirror and he looked like absolute shit. He picked up his keys and headed to work.

Ziva had just got into her shower two minutes ago when her phone rang; she thought it would be Tony so she left it. Until it rang again and she jumped out of the shower and seeing it was Gibbs she answered it

"David" she said trying to mask some sort of good emotion

"Ziver we have a case be at the office in thirty minutes"

"Ok bye" she quickly got dressed, she was not in the mood for work but she had to start moving on from last night so she guessed it would be a sort of good thing. She pulled her messy hair into a bun, not having time to fix it from last night when Tony ran his hands through it. She picked up her keys and drove off on her way to work.

When Ziva arrived Tony was already there she could see his car parked in its usual spot. Lucky she met McGee at the elevator, he would keep Tony from saying anything

"Hey Ziva" they entered the elevator together

"Hello Tim" Ziva's mask had fooled McGee right from the get go. The elevator reached its destination and Ziva and McGee headed into the bullpen. As soon as Tony heard the elevator ding he looked up, he saw Ziva and McGee. He watched as Ziva avoided his presence

"Good Morning Tony" McGee said happily. Why did he have to be so chipper? Tony thought and only grunted in response. McGee had noticed his rather unpleasant mood already and he made it a note not to get on the other end of Tony today. Gibbs strolled in then and Ziva stood

"I will ride with Gibbs" she announced and no body saw anything in it except Tony. They took their cars to the crime scene. McGee had left Tony alone in silence on the ride over. Gibbs had kept silent to Ziva's satisfaction. When they got to the scene Gibbs had set them their tasks, Ziva bag and tag, Tony photos and McGee sketch. When Ducky and Palmer had arrived they had gone with Gibbs to the body where the whole team was. As Ducky found something on the body he asked Tony to take a photo, he lent down and took a close photo just like Ducky had asked, but he then realised everyone had noticed his hand. It was blue and purple and looked pretty smashed up with some gashes on it

"Anthony what happened to your hand?" Ducky went to look at it but Tony pulled it away

"Na its ok Ducky, its fine" Gibbs didn't believe Tony and he wanted to know why he was trying to hide his hand from Ducky, it must have something to do with his mood

"DiNozzo give Ducky a look" Tony couldn't say no to his boss, he sighed and held out his hand. Ziva watched the whole thing, that defiantly wasn't the condition of his hand when she saw him last. Ducky took Tony's hand and lightly touched it, examining it.

"Well it certainly doesn't look fine, what did you do? It is close to being fractured but not quite you are lucky" Gibbs watched as Tony looked for an answer. Ziva too was curious

"DiNozzo the doctor asked what you did" Tony was shity that they were all asking these questions and it just came out

"I punched my door alright" he took his hand back from Ducky and everybody looked at him like he was nuts. Ziva on the other hand was sad that she had made him that emotional that he punched a door nearly breaking his hand

"You punched your door? And why did you do that?" Gibbs was suddenly concerned for his senior agent

"I was angry" Tony didn't seem as though he wanted to share so Gibbs left him alone for now.

They had finished processing the crime scene and headed back to the NCIS building. Everyone had been cautious of Tony for the rest of the time at the crime scene and he noticed and it pissed him off even more. At the crime scene a smelly bag of some sort of liquid had exploded over the team, Ducky said it was the increased heat from the amount of people in the room, it wasn't dangerous but it smelt really bad so when they got back to NCIS Tony, McGee, Gibbs and Ziva headed for the showers. The woman's changing rooms where across the hall from the males. Tony, McGee and Gibbs began to remove their now smelly clothes. Tony had removed hi tie and his jacket and was now removing his shirt. When he took his shirt off McGee and Gibbs both looked at him staring. Shit he had forgotten about the marks he would have from last night. There was two bite marks on his shoulder which were surrounded by slight bruises, and on his back he had red scratch marks down his whole back, eight lines.

"Tony what's up with the red marks and…" McGee looked closer at his shoulder "and bite marks? What the hell did you do last night?" reminding Tony about last night only made his mood worse

"Well thanks for the reminder McNosey, I was trying to forget what happened last night but you just decide that your gonna remind me anyways, thanks a lot" Tony was mad and Gibbs could see it with the way he just went off at McGee

"DiNozzo calm yourself down and get in that shower, I will talk to you when you have finished" Tony angrily removed his pants and took off into the shower. Gibbs and McGee had thrown each other a concerned look before they jumped in the other showers.

Ziva had herd the discussion from the males shower room and she was concerned for what she had done to Tony, hopefully he would be able to move on.

**Hope this story is been a interest for some people, I would love to get reviews on what you think. Hundan**


	3. Chapter 3

After they had showered up Gibbs had given McGee a look and McGee was dressed in record time when he left the changing rooms, leaving Tony and Gibbs in there alone. Gibbs was sitting down on one of the benches and it took him one look at Tony before Tony took a seat next to his boss with a sigh. Tony ran his hand through his hair as the more his boss sat there silent was the more nervous he began to get. Finally his boss spoke up

"Tony whatever it is that has you in this bad mood I want it to stop affecting your work, you are going off at McGee non stop and just because something happened to you does not mean McGee has to pay for it. Can you keep your head on task for the rest of the day or do I have to send you home to sleep on it?" Gibbs left the younger man alone about his injuries for now. Tony felt guilty for letting his anger off at McGee now

"Right boss, I will keep my mouth shut when it should be shut. It wont happen again" he looked to his boss and he nodded. Tony picked up his dirty clothes and headed back up stairs to the bull pen to work on the case. That had gone a bit better than he had thought it would, he was at least expecting a head slap.

Gibbs had seen hurt in the younger mans eyes and decided to save the head slap for another day, he was worried for Tony but he knew the agent would come to him and tell him in his own time when he was ready.

Tony had reached the bull pen; McGee and Ziva were both quietly working away at their computers. He walked to his desk and sat down, not looking up at Ziva he put his dirty clothes in his bag and went to work at his computer. He was working away at a lead into the case when he couldn't help but look up at Ziva. He only looked for a moment but he could tell she had noticed him look, she always did no matter if she made it obvious she did or not to him that she noticed, but she did.

After a few times after he looked quickly he let his gaze stay for a long time, hoping she would meet it. She did after a while only to quickly look at his eyes, giving him a fake smile, he knew it wasn't real her eyes gave her away. What he saw in her eyes almost made him punch another wall, she was upset and troubled, more than when he had found her in that dirt cell in Somalia and that really bothered him. The day had gone rather quick, after he had met Ziva's gaze he tried as hard as he could to focus on work like he had promised Gibbs, he would try go talk to Ziva after work.

Gibbs had just let them off for the night because they hadn't found any strong leads and when he looked up Ziva had already disappeared, damn her Mossad stealth. He had wondered if she would go home or out, he knew she knew he would come over looking for her but her car was in its spot when he pulled up so she must be home. He walked into the apartment complex, heading for the stairs for the second floor. His whole body was starting to hurt for some reason as he got closer to her door, he was the most worried he had ever been. Will she let him in? Will she talk to him? Will she listen to him? He was about to find out. He knocked softly on her door; he then heard feet patter across the floor.

The little bit of confidence that he had left shattered at what he heard next

"Go away Tony" she didn't even open the door to say it to his face, he almost felt like going to a dark place somewhere and fade away so he would not bother her anymore, but he couldn't. He knocked harder on her door

"Ziva just let me in I need to talk to you" he could tell she was still just behind the door on the other side. She raised her voice a bit more

"I do not wish to speak with you, please just go" he raised his voice a bit more to match hers

"Don't do this Ziva, let me in" he could hear her start to walk away and he used something she taught him and picked her lock, he opened the door and she froze walking away from the door, with her back to him

"Tony do not step one more step into my apartment" her voice was serious with a hint of pain, he stepped forward and spoke up still with a raised voice

"I will until you start talking to me" as he took a few more steps she spun around, avoiding his gaze

"There is nothing to talk about" ok that made him more mad and he raised his voice more

"Don't you dare say that, there is so much to talk about and I am not leaving until we have talked" still avoiding his gaze her voice met the pitch of his

"Why do you need to pester this? I told you what it is that was to happen, did you not even listen?" he stepped forward more until he stood right in front of her, he lowered his voice

"I did listen, I am telling you I don't want to just let this go" he lent forward and using his finger on her chin he brought her gaze to his. He quickly pushed his lips to hers softly, holding it there for a moment before she quickly, forcefully pushed him away from her. Taking a step back with tears in her eyes, a few slipping out, she raised her voice

"Get out! Please just leave" she said shakily and teary, he was not moving. So she looked at him and then taking a step to him began pushing him out of her apartment. He didn't want to leave but he couldn't and wouldn't push back against her in any physical way he just couldn't and before he knew it she slammed the door in his face. He began banging on it with his fists

"Ziva do not do this" he yelled through the door, she did not reply. As he banged the door again two policemen came up the stairs, walking up to him. He ignored them and continued banging on the door

"Ziva, I love you Ziva do not do this to me, to you to us" he yelled through the door making sure she heard him. When he did one policeman grabbed his arm

"Excuse me Sir but we have had a couple phone calls about a disturbance from you" Tony pulled his arm from the policeman and turned back to Ziva's door

"Ziva!" the police wouldn't have anymore of this mans ignorance, they grabbed him pulling him back from the door, Tony still would not give up and he fought against the hold the two police had him in but they wouldn't budge and they dragged him away

"Ziva!" he yelled as he was dragged away. He was then put in the back of their vehicle.

As they drove him to the police station they tried to talk to Tony but he just sat in silence in the back, holding back the tears that threatened to spill. Once they got to the police station he began to co-operate, they sat him down at a table and one of the cops sat in front of him.

"Hey look I'm on your side I'm an ex-cop, I'm now a federal agent" the cop didn't believe him obviously

"Oh really, and is someone going to verify for that?" Tony winced at the thought of telling his boss he was arrested

"Yeah, I can get him down here if you give me a phone call" the cop began to think this guy was telling the truth, that or he didn't care if he was lying and digging himself a hole

"Ok then, you have one phone call" the cop handed Tony a phone and Tony slowly, not sure if it was worth it, dialled Gibbs number. Gibbs picked up on the second ring

"Gibbs" Tony took a deep breath

"Hey boss its Tony, do you think you could come down to the police station?" he heard Gibbs start to run up his basement steps

"Do you have a lead?" as Tony paused his bosses feet stopped

"DiNozzo?"

"No boss, I um… I got arrested" he heard his bosses tone change immediately to pissed off

"I will be right there" and he hung up.

Five minutes later of sitting quietly as the cop stared at him his boss arrived, he was lead in by another cop and he took the seat next to Tony, glaring at him, Tony dropped his head and looked to the floor. Gibbs then turned to the police in front of them

"Gibbs, this is one of my agents DiNozzo" Gibbs showed his badge and offered his hand and the cop shook it

"Detective Bruce Harrison, I didn't believe he was actually telling the truth for the most part, until you showed up" Gibbs didn't smile, he turned his attention to the matter at hand

"So why has my agent been arrested?" the cop looked down at his paper

"Well we had a couple of calls for disturbance and possible domestic abuse then your agent resisted the police officers when they went to talk to him" Tony snapped his head up, he had not expected that, and Gibbs's face was anything but pleased at this. He looked at Tony, Tony was pretty sure he wasn't going to live much longer at the look in Gibbs's eyes

"I did not touch her! Well actually I did… but not like that! I would never do that to her! How could you even say that?" Gibbs put his hand on Tony's shoulder to calm him and then faced Harrison

"Did you even talk to the apparent victim of this abuse? Do you have any physical evidence of this, because I sure haven't seen it and I am damn sure my agent would not do such a thing" Gibbs glared at Harrison as he produced nothing

"No when we returned to talk to the occupant of the apartment they were gone so no we have not talked to them" Gibbs seriously thought some people shouldn't be in the law, they had no sense of what it means to follow up things. He didn't like this Detective Harrison person

"Well since there is no evidence or report from any victim I think you should release my agent to my care" Harrison knew this Gibbs guy was right, he couldn't hold his agent for anything because he had nothing he could charge him with because they had no evidence for anything

"On one condition, if I have a report from the woman from the apartment I will be sending my men for your agent" Gibbs glared but then nodded. They had to fill out a few forms before Tony was let go, Gibbs and Tony didn't say a word to each other until they got into Gibbs's car.

The first words that were said were

"Where am I taking you Tony?" Tony couldn't tell him to take him to his car which was outside Ziva's apartment because then he would find out, so he would sort out getting his car later

"My apartment" Gibbs drove towards Tony's apartment in silence for a while, but then he spoke up

"So tell me Tony what is up with you lately? First you come to work with a mood, taking it out on everyone, especially McGee, then you have scratch marks right down your back and bite marks on your shoulder, also you have a smashed hand from where you punched your door, and now you get arrested and try to get charged with domestic abuse? I'm seriously beginning to worry so can you explain because I have left this alone for long enough" Tony thought about what he was going to say, he had to make sure there was no hint of anything to do with Ziva, when he was sure he was ready he spoke

"I have feelings, strong feelings for this girl and I told her and she returned them. Then you know we… and that's where the scratches and bite marks came from" his boss gave him a weird look, but then he continued

"I know its different but it sort of just happened" he said blushing slightly "And then in the morning she left saying she wasn't sure of what she said and that I deserve more than her, but I don't want anything but her and that's when I snapped and punched the wall because I fucked up my chance with her, and I went to talk to her but she wouldn't talk to me and I may have raised my voice but so did she and I didn't physically harm her in anyway I never would live with myself if I did. And now i don't know what to do…" his boss could understand the younger man now

"Tony how much do you care for this woman?" it did not take Tony long to answer

"I love her, and I have for a long time. And I am really serious, I don't think I could move on boss" Gibbs doesn't think he ever gave relationship advice but he was about to change that

"Tony there is nothing you can do, all you can do is wait and give her time. If she feels the same way and realises the mistake she has done she will come back to you. You have to be patient, if she moves on you will have to live with that. You never will move on though but it is better than being alone as long as you are slightly happy but never fully satisfied" Tony was pretty sure his boss was speaking from his personal experience

"Thanks boss, I think I will try" Gibbs pulled up to Tony's apartment

"Well it is hard, properly the hardest thing you will have to do in life, but I know you are strong Tony" Tony gave Gibbs a look that he was very thankful of his opinion

"Thanks boss, and thanks for picking me up you know" Tony got out of the car but before he closed the door Gibbs called out

"DiNozzo" Tony put his head back in the car

"Yeah boss?"

"Stay out of anymore trouble" Tony smiled and headed up to his apartment. Gibbs drove off with a slight smile and still a bit of worry in his mind.

**I wanted to have a bit of Tony/Gibbs in this one because their relationship is a good one in my mind. I know Ziva might be seeming a bit selfish or something like that but hopefully that will be explained when it's the right moment, I'm cooking up a good reason for her being like that. And to the people worried about this maybe getting a bit angsty, I'm trying not to go that way too much but I think its what this story needs at this point in the story. Thanks for the reviews they are really appreciated, don't be shy to review again thanks Hundan.**


	4. Chapter 4

Tony DiNozzo sat on his couch. No movie on the TV, no music on, no book, he just sat there in the dark silence of his apartment with the only thing on was his mind. He couldn't believe he had got arrested, but he was slightly glad because he had had that talk with Gibbs and it really was helping him to think about his and Ziva's relationship. He was so caught up in thinking about Ziva he got up off the couch, turned the kitchen light on and grabbing some paper and a pen he wrote all he was think down on the paper. Rather than let it all just swirl round in his head he would let it out and give it to the one who he needed to explain what is going on in his mind to.

Ziva had just gotten home. As soon as Tony had left with the police, she had regretted not helping him out then; she had left her apartment running. She ran and ran and ran until she had found herself outside of Tony's apartment building. How had she ended up running here? She turned and ran all the way back to her apartment, when she got there his car was still outside and she was worried he was being kept in a cell for the night. When she got inside her cold dark apartment she was tired. Her muscles were sore from running nonstop without being prepared properly, she headed right for the bathroom and turning the shower on as hot as she could without it burning she climbed in under the penetrating spray.

It worked all the stress out of her muscles and gave her time to think. She was still at loss to as why she ran to Tony's but she didn't have an answer except that she needed him, and she couldn't do that, she must let him go. Then that made her to think of Tony, and once she started she couldn't stop. She wanted the comfort he brought but she couldn't do that now, she had pushed him away to keep him safe from her and she would put protecting him before she thought about her own needs. She realised she probably would never get to snuggle up to him on his couch as they watched movies again and she regretted that. She wouldn't get to hug him, to kiss him, to make love to him and it was only after she had let those things rattle round in her brain that she realised not all the water in the shower was coming from the shower, tears spilled there way from her eyes.

She had left the relaxing heat of the shower and swapped it for the cold empty comfort of her bed. She didn't think she would miss sharing a bed with Tony as she slept but she did. It worried her that one night had affected her so much that she didn't like sleeping alone. She pulled one of her pillows from the top of her bed and brought it down beside her. She wrapped her arms around it hugging it and wishing it gave off heat, had a soft hairy chest, and wished it softly played with her hair as she was just about to drift off. None of that would happen though because it was just a pillow and it would never be Tony.

Tony had walked into work the next morning late and sleep deprived. He was late because he had to get his car from outside Ziva's that morning and he couldn't go too early. He hadn't slept well in the past few nights and last night wasn't any better. Ziva was seated at her desk working away at something, McGee was there too doing much the same. Tony wasn't welcomed by a morning greeting from McGee today and he knew his actions yesterday would be why. He dropped his bag behind his desk then walked over to McGee. McGee looked up at Tony; he could see he hadn't slept much the night before. Tony knelt down in front of his desk leaning over closer to McGee so what he said wouldn't be broadcast to everyone.

McGee looked to Tony instead of his computer screen. Tony kept a low voice

"Look I am sorry for the past few days Tim. I treated you like total shit and you were just trying to help, I will never forgive myself for doing that to you but I hope you will forgive me. I sort of miss talking to you, you're a really good friend who just likes to help" McGee was actually surprised at an apology from Tony; it was not what he had expected. McGee knew Tony didn't mean to go off at him but he also had a feeling something really bad had happened to Tony because he had never seen him as disgruntled as he had been the past few days. And Tony didn't go this long not talking to Ziva, even when people close to Tony had died or he was seriously upset he would still talk to Ziva so he was worried about what was up.

"That is ok Tony I do forgive you. I know you have something that really upset you and I can see you did not mean to go off at me so it is ok" Tony stood up and McGee watched him

"Thanks Tim, I will make it up to you I promise" McGee just nodded he wouldn't disagree with Tony because he was obviously still troubled and he was worried for him. Tony went back to his desk and turned on his computer.

Tony had acted semi-normal that morning to Ziva as they searched for evidence on a suspect. He looked at her sometimes and just smiled; at one stage he asked her opinion casually

"So McGee thinks it's a drug deal gone wrong from the amount of drugs we found in his system… but what does Ziva think?" Ziva wasn't expecting him to act that normal this quickly

"I um I am not sure…maybe someone involved in the law" Tony raised his eyebrows he wasn't expecting her to get involved

"Oh the law huh, what set your ninja senses off with that idea?" she couldn't help continuing a conversation with him it was so easy, but she did feel a pang in her mind when he used the nickname. She explained her thoughts on the matter and he actually listened.

"That seems plausible" he turned to McGee "I'm on Ziva's side McGoo, it makes more sense" did she hear right? He was agreeing with her? She was worried at his casual behaviour; maybe he had moved on already and was forgetting about it, she was just another one night fling to him. Now that pang in her brain was in her heart and she knew she shouldn't think these things because it was her fault that she slept with him. He watched her expression change and was worried he said something wrong.

The day continued and following a lead McGee had found the team had headed to the house of the new suspect. They had knocked on the door yelling that they were NCIS agents. When they heard people begin to run from inside they busted down the door. They split up, Ziva ran out the side door, McGee staying at the front and Tony and Gibbs out the back. Tony and Gibbs had gotten the suspect out the back. Ziva had ended up chasing the other guy down the street, when he went to jump a high fence she grabbed his exposed arm trying to grab him, he got away but she had managed to scratch his arm in the process, she didn't follow because she couldn't get over the fence quick enough and by the time she was over he was long gone. She sighed, she wish she was a bit taller sometimes.

Gibbs put the original suspect that he and Tony had caught in interrogation; he had sent Ziva down to Abby so Abby could get the new suspects DNA from under Ziva's nails. The guy in integration said he was just talking to the guy who was in his apartment about drug supply from confiscated drugs in the police evidence lock up. Apparently the guy was some cop who was selling him drugs from old busts and he was selling them back on the streets, he also said he had nothing to do with the murder. Gibbs believed him but still put him away from selling illegal narcotics. Gibbs was now out to get this dirty cop.

Tony was with Gibbs when Abby had called him to say she had found something. They both headed down to the lab where Ziva, McGee and Abby were all surrounding Abby at her computer

"What-ya got Ab's" Tony stood behind Abby and Gibbs walked up to the plasma TV

"Well I got particles of the skin from under Ziva's nails that places the guy at the crime scene and I am just running the DNA now… but it is taking a while, and I-" Gibbs cut Abby off

"Try running it through law enforcement" Abby furrowed her brow but got right to it

"The guy was a cop that was supplying the guy upstairs with drugs from old busts in the evidence lock up" Tony explained and they all got the revelation. They all watched as it searched then Abby's computer beeped

"I got something! It's a cop from the local station Detective Bruce Simons-" Abby was cut off by her computer this time as it beeped. She clicked on it and the all looked at the picture that came on the screen. Ziva almost died right there, Tony much the same. Abby and McGee were speechless and Gibbs looked as though he was going to kill someone. The name on the screen was Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo.

Everyone was looking at Tony

"Tony don't tell me you were involved in this, oh my gosh what if someone is setting you up, that must be it" Gibbs knew right away why Tony's name has came up, it wasn't hard to put together the fact Tony had big finger marks down his back from sleeping with a woman, and the fact that Tony's DNA was found under Ziva's nails. He knew just who had been breaking Tony's heart now, but he would deal with that later. All Tony could manage was to look in Ziva's eyes; those now almost teary eyes, that brought back that night again before he turned and stormed out of the lab. Abby was looking around confused.

"What was that about Gibbs, he isn't involved is he?" before Gibbs could answer Abby Ziva spoke up

"No Abby Tony's DNA under my nails has nothing to do with the case, it was…" she couldn't finish, and she was looking away from everyone avoiding their eyes

"Ziva accidently scratched him the other day when he stole her favourite pen and she grabbed for it" McGee had some how came up with that lie, he knew what it was from as well. Abby believed him

"Ok I see, anyways here's the guys address" she handed McGee the paper and he took off to get the car where he would wait for Gibbs.

Ziva had followed but Gibbs had pulled her aside in the hallway just out of Abby's lab

"Ziver" Ziva was finally breaking down in front of someone; Gibbs pulled her into a hug as she silently cried. As her tears slowed she looked back to face him

"Gibbs I have messed this up, it is my entire fault and I shouldn't have done what I did" Ziva didn't know Gibbs knew just what she had done

"Ziva it takes two people to do what you did, you both took that choice" Ziva gave him a confused look, he explained

"I talked to Tony when I picked him up from the police station. I only just found out it was you though. I do have rules for a reason Ziva you understand that?" she nodded

"I see why you have that rule, so things like this do not happen" he wanted his team back and he knew what these two really wanted

"Look Ziva you need to talk to him. Sometimes what you think is good for someone in your eyes might be totally different to what they think, and I know for a fact Tony does not want it to stay how you two are now. Rule fifty one Ziver, sometimes you're wrong" and he kissed her forehead and left to go find McGee. She disappeared to the women's toilets for awhile.

She splashed her face with the cold water. What had Gibbs meant by what he said? He had talked to Tony so maybe Tony didn't care if she was damaged goods, but how he was acting earlier she thought he had already gotten over it. She still wasn't sure what to do. She thought about how she had run to Tony's the night before, maybe she did want and need him more than she thought.

Tony was so upset. His boss and McGee would now know what was bothering him; man Gibbs was going to kill him. And the way Ziva had looked at him; she was defiantly not ok about what had happened those few nights ago no matter how much she tried to show she was ok, he could always see the truth.

Gibbs had come back much later and Tony was the only one in the bullpen when he and McGee came back. They both acted as though nothing had happened in Abby's lab.

"We got the guy and he's going to go down for the murders as we found the murder weapon in his house, all Abby has to do is match the blood" McGee casually informed Tony

"That's good, I'm glad this case is over" Tony didn't blow up at McGee, he had done enough of that

"Tony" as Gibbs said his first name he was worried, he was about to get the biggest head slap of his life

"Yeah boss?" Gibbs looked over his senior agent

"Go home Tony, get some rest" Tony was confused but he wasn't going to argue. He nodded and stood up. He knew this was his chance to give Ziva his letter the he had written last night. He slowly walked up to her empty desk and placed the envelope on top of her keyboard. As he headed out he looked back at Gibbs and McGee who were both looking at him. He entered the elevator and was on his way to head home for the night.

Not long after Tony left Ziva came back into the bullpen. As she sat down at her desk she noticed the envelope immediately, she traced over her name which was scribbled on the top in _his _hand writing. Gibbs looked at McGee then and gave him a nod to be dismissed. McGee stood and wished them goodnight. Ziva didn't know if she should open the letter yet. Gibbs stood and was now in front of her desk.

"You should head home Ziver" she nodded not being able to form a reply. He lent over and kissed the top of her head and left her alone the only one in that part of the building.

She ran her finger over his writing again, after taking a look around to find she was alone and the only light was from her desk light she carefully opened the top of the envelope and pulled out the contents.

**I will update as soon as I can, thanks for all the reviews I would love to get more. I know Tony wouldn't actually get arrested at Ziva's the night before because it just wouldn't happen, but it is how my story wanted to go so it went down that silly little path. A big thanks to my new beta MMWillow13, I think we all appreciate her help on my stories. **


	5. Chapter 5

As she pulled the paper from the envelope she studied it before she unfolded it. It was one piece of paper, folded in thirds and by the looks of things the paper was full top to bottom with pen writing. She carefully unfolded the letter and her findings proved her thoughts right. The paper was covered with his scribbled hand writing and it read…

_Ziva_

_Since the day I meet you there had been something about you I couldn't place what it was. After all those times we flirted and spent so much time together I found myself falling for you. When I had my undercover assignment I could see you wanted to be let into what I was doing but I kept it from you to protect you, I know you would have told me that I was in love with her and you would try to protect me from not wrecking my assignment and I didn't want you to get brought down in my mistake._

_After it all went to hell you helped me, you had my back and you comforted me when I had no one else. Then we became so close, I almost told you my feelings that night, that last night before we were both sent away to the opposite sides of the world._

_But I didn't and I regret that. When you came back you were taken by someone else and I was a wreak, you had found someone and I had missed my chance._

_But when I found out he was playing you I was so mad that someone could do that to you and when I went to talk to you, to give you a chance and to protect you it all went down hill. You know what happened next. I never forgave myself for leaving you there; it was all my fault and then when we found out you had gone down with the Damocles my world ended. I couldn't sleep at night, I was drinking way too much and I just didn't care about my life anymore, it had no meaning when you were gone._

_Then I wanted to get revenge on the people who took you from me so I went to Somalia not caring if I came back or not. Then they took that cover of your head and I felt alive again, you were alive. When I said I couldn't live without you I really meant that. We then bought you home and we slowly began to get back to how we once were all those years ago when it was really good._

_And then that night it just seemed so right at the time, and when you left the next morning I was so pissed that I had messed up what we had. I cannot sleep at night, you invade my mind way too much for me to focus and I don't know how to fix what I have done because you will not let me talk to you. _

_So that is how I ended up here writing you this letter, so you would listen. I will always love you Ziva David no matter what anyone says I will. You are not damaged goods you are perfect in my eyes. _

_And no I do not deserve you, I deserve less than you because you are the most absolute beautiful woman I know, you are independent, intelligent, successful, professional, stubborn and even if you don't see it you're caring. And I love every thing about you I would not change a thing. Your past, I do not care what you did I will never change what I think of you. I will try pretend to be normal with you if you do not wish to be with me, I will love to go back to being good friends if that is all you want. But do not think I do not want you, man I do, I want you so much and I would spend the rest of my life with just you if I could._

_The decision is yours in the end, if you want to be more than friends and my partner I would be the happiest man in the world, and you can wait to tell me you love me as long as you want, as long as it takes you to feel that way I will be by your side._

_I want to hold you every night that I live and I want to kiss you and make love to you until the day I die I will always love you as much as a person can love another. _

_Love, Tony_

_x x x_

She was almost in tears. He really loved her that much? Why had she done this to him, she thought he wouldn't want her because she was so damaged and so unlovable, but he did and he didn't care what she did. He loved her for what she was. A few tears dripped down onto the paper. She had to go see him.

**I know this chapter was a bit short and I only just updated the last chapter but I wanted to get the letter out. Oh exciting stuff, the moment we have all waited for is coming, Ziva and Tony will finally talk to each other. Love the reviews, keep them coming**

**Hundan **


	6. Chapter 6

As soon as she had read the letter she had shut down her computer and almost ran out of the building to her car. As she ran out the doors of the NCIS building the rain was starting to fall, she dashed to her car escaping out of the rain. She started her mini and pealed out of her car park, racing over the wet paved roads, heading to him.

Tony was still depressed about what happened today, he was still alive so at the moment he was alright with his boss, that might change though it really depends on how he and Ziva continue there relationship. He was nervous about leaving the letter for Ziva because once he had left it on her desk his words could never be taken back, and there was a lot of words in that letter. Tony sat on the ledge of his window in his apartment, the rain was now pouring down and the tiny drops pounded against the glass window. He doesn't know why he sat there, it was starting to make him feel more depressed, made him think more about Ziva.

Thinking about Ziva as he watched out his window onto the dead water washed streets below he saw her car begin its journey down his street. Why else wound she be coming down his street other then to see him? So he darted away from the window and sprinted out of his apartment and down the stairs. He reached the apartment block door to the street and he burst out of it, as he looked up she was just getting out of her car door. She turned and saw him; she clutched the letter in her hand.

She locked eyes with him for the first time properly in the past few days, he could see they where open again, all her walls where down. He stepped out into the rain walking to her; she walked to him, never taking their gaze away from the others. They stopped when they reached each other; they stood the closest as humanly possible without touching in the middle of the road. They both hesitated to touch the other, with the last time being _that _morning. He spoke up first

"I see you got my letter" he said with an attempted casual tone. She raised the letter to hold against her chest where her heart was

"Yes" her answer was simple; she had not talked to him on a personal term in these past three emotional days. The rain was pouring down over them but they both seemed not to notice the fact

"You read it?" his voice gave away his unsure thought of if she had or not and if this talk would end up good or bad. She couldn't muster her words to exit her mouth; they had gotten stuck and wouldn't leave her lips. She just nodded.

He didn't know what to say, it was really her who was meant to be giving him an answer to his exposing love letter but she was hardly voicing anything she had only said one word to him. Then he didn't expect what happened next. She stepped forward pressing her body to his and softly wrapped her arms around him. He enveloped her back, he pulled his arms over her shoulders and just clung to her, never ever wanting to let go. They stood there for what felt like hours but were only minutes; her hands had gripped the back of his shirt into her fists. He only slackened his grip when he begun to feel her tremble against him, her face shaking in the crook of his neck. Was she crying? He pulled back and lifted her head with his finger to her jaw, when her eyes locked on his he was proven right, she was crying.

You couldn't tell that easy as the rain had easily hidden the tears, but he knew her way too well and even though he hadn't really seen her cry, he knew she was. Just before he spoke up to say something she spoke

"Tony I am so sorry, I never thought you would think of me the way you do. I thought you… I thought-" she was shaky as she spoke, it was always hard to talk when you were crying like she was. He cut her off by calling her name softly and brought a hand up to her face and cupped her cheek

"Ziva, you always think the worst, that no one could love you, but if you had given me a chance and listened to me you would know that you were wrong" he was stern with her but she welcomed his words and leaned into his touch

"I should have just listened to you" she softened and gave into him. He smiled a soft grin

"Well you are stubborn and that is one thing I love about you, that you are a challenge for me" his lighter tone made her smile; he always knew how to make her smile. She smiled and it was a decent one as it reached her eyes, as she looked into his eyes she knew he would never break her heart no matter what he did he just couldn't, because he was…Tony, her Tony.

She ran one hand through his now drenched wet hair after she placed the letter in her jacket

"Tony I want this but I don't want to be broken, I am scared of that and of hurting you" she was so scared of losing him or hurting him that's why she ran away at the start. He rested his forehead against hers

"Ziva you could never intentional hurt me, well you threaten to all the time but I know you wouldn't. And you know I would never let go of you, you are everything to me so don't be scared I will always be here standing at your side" he would reassure her as much as it takes for her to see this. She sniffed back the last tears as they slowed

"Ok I think…I think we can do this, it will work" her certain words made him smile so much

"Ziva you know how happy you make me when you say those words?" his other hand went up to the other side of her face, and she nodded against his head

"Yes I can see, your eyes could probably give your smile a run for its cash with how happy the are" she was now happy for the first time in the past few days, and he caught her idiom mix up and couldn't help it

"Money Ziva, run for its money" she shrugged at his comment, she always loved it when he corrected her though she would never admit it

"Same thing" she looked into his deep green eyes and then looked at his lips, she had craved this again since when it first happened three days ago. She slowly leant up to meet him as he leant down to her.

Their lips meet tenderly as the rain still cascaded around them. His wet lips against hers, she was cold from the rain but his body close to hers and his lips on hers ultimately took that feeling of coldness away. He would always heat her heart and soul and this showed her just how much he affected her. He let his mouth begin to devour her more as they both made the kiss that much more passionate, they needed this after what had happened, they needed the reassurance that the other was there. He never wanted this kiss to stop, ever. But he only just realised how wet him and her had both become from the rain when he moved his hands from her face to her hips. He pulled his head back to look her in the eyes

"I think we should get out of this rain" he said with a smile, she nodded. His hand found hers before they moved and then he pulled her towards his building. They went up the stairs and after unlocking the door to his apartment they walked in.

She stood there as he closed the door, the memories of last time she was here flooded back. Pushing them away as she heard his voice

"Ziva?" he had noticed her just standing there not moving, slightly shivering from the cold wet clothes on her back. She didn't move her feet but turned her face to him over her shoulder

"Hmm sorry I was just… yeah" she looked at his eyes then turned her head back around to just look at his apartment. He slowly came up behind her and put his hands carefully on her hips and brought his face to her neck in the same way. The last time he had got more intimate than a kiss with her things went bad, so he was careful to what he did. He felt her lean against his touch, which was a good sign. He brought his lips to her neck and softly ran his lips against her skin. She was still shivering slightly and his fingers nipped at the hem of her top

"I think we should get these wet clothes off you?" it was a question not a statement; he wanted her permission before he did anything. She turned her head to his and as he looked up his nose grazed against hers

"Yes I am a bit cold" her eyes shined at him, she was happy and comfortable and he was ecstatic as her walls were down for him again. His warm hands dipped under the hem and instantly heated her cold skin where his hands were, she sighed at the pleasure

"Oh I think I can help warm you up, what do you say?" he knew she was comfortable but before he started something that would be hard to stop once it began he wanted the permission that she was comfortable with it. When her hands moved he thought she was going to push him away but one of her hands went behind her onto his hip and the other tangled in his short hair at her shoulder

"I think I would like that" and yes she could tell how much he wanted this again because hell she wanted it just as bad. It was like a drug, once tasted you would want it; crave it so much until you had it again. He was her drug and she was his.

His hands pushed her jacket off her shoulders then his hands retreated to her hem once more and pulling back slightly he lifted right over her head, he pushed his body right back to hers and kissed her shoulder. He kissed and kissed her shoulders, neck and any skin he could find at that moment and as he moved his lips to just behind her ear his hands went around the front of her to the front of her pants. His fingers worked on her button and zip, once undone he bent down and pealed the wet fabric from her legs, as she stepped out of them she turned around. With his lips he started at her ankles and kissed and sucked his way up and up, over her thigh. His hands skimmed after his hands, travelling over the path his lips left. He went up over her hip bone, to her belly and past the centre of her breasts. Curving round her neck and finally reaching his destination at her lips where he passionately kissed.

His hands on her waist, her hands going to the front of his drenched dress shirt, making good work of his buttons. She dropped the shirt off his shoulders with a wet flop to the floor, her hands went to release him from the discomfort of his heavy, wet and restricting jeans. Once undone, with a bit of help from her hands pushing, his jeans followed their growing pile of clothing scattered on his floor. He would have to mop later, but he didn't care this was well worth it. As she kissed his lips again with hers he reached his hands under her bottom, lifting her up and against him, she wrapped her legs around his waist. Concentrating on kissing her and walking in the right direction was tricky but they ended up in his bedroom.

He lay her down under him and he rested on top of her. She kissed his nose and her hands came around to his bottom and with a cheeky grin she pushed him into her, hard. He couldn't help the moan that slipped from his lips, only making her grin bigger. In retaliation he grinded his hips down into hers in just the right way getting a moan from her, making him smirk too. She pulled his head down to hers with her hands now weaved in his hair, kissing him hard on the lips. After they kissed for what seemed like forever and grinded into each other so much they couldn't take it any longer Tony quickly stood up in frustration, his hands went straight to her panties, pulled right off; he then dropped his boxers to the floor and climbed back onto her.

He didn't think he could do with any foreplay, kissing her and his body against hers like it had been would be enough, his foreplay was the want for her that he had suffered over the past three days and she was defiantly in the same condition. So without any hesitation he looked down at her, he always would love to watch her face as he entered her. He did and she gasped, he settled as she relaxed to his size. Once she did he pulled back and filled her again. Again, again and again he repeated the motion, each time she would meet him thrust for thrust. He quickened and quickened and he was pushing himself so far the new water that formed on him was the sweat on his back, she too began to shine as he worked her hard.

As she began to get to her release she gripped him by his arse, pushing him that little bit more, giving her a heightened pleasure. With a few more thrusts she cried out, moaning his name as she reached her climax. He filled her right then, calling her name out in a groan. After he rest himself above her, then he pulled out from her and rolled to his back with a large breath let out air. He was very satisfied. She curled herself into him, resting her head on his shoulder and hand on his chest as her leg slid between his.

He played with her curly hair, and she played with his on his chest. As they lay there in the comfortable silence he realised his bed was wet. The makes sense since they were both still quite wet when they began their activities on his bed. He smiled with a cheeky comment in mind

"Ziva you wet the bed!" he smiled as she looked up in shock, about to argue, then she saw his smile. She pushed his chest playfully

"Hey you wet the bed too, if I remember right" she leant up and kissed him, stroking his hair at the side of his head. That's when she realised, when she had said those three words those three nights ago she had meant it. She was just scared of finally falling in love, she had never said it and she didn't want to hurt him or loose him, that's why she thought she wasn't ready to say it. So as she pulled back from the kiss she knew what she felt and it was right

"I love you Tony" his face lit up with absolute joy at her words but he was still hesitant

"You don't have to say it Ziva, until you're ready I won't force you" he was truthful to her, he didn't want her to say it until she was ready, he would wait. She knew why he was reassuring her but she knew it was right and she was ready

"No I am ready, it feels right and I know it is true. I love you" her saying it again and the way her eyes were honest

"I love you too"

They would grow together, building there once broken relationship. They would always stand side by side loving each other. And they can because he loves her and she loves him, their hearts no longer empty with loneliness and jealousy of the other but lust, passion, care and love now filled their hearts and forever will. Because they can.

**Thank you to everyone who read my story and reviewed it, I love to make people enjoy the stories they read. I would love to know what you thought about the end of this story. I have a few ideas for other stories at the moment so I will hopefully be getting those going soon as I only have one more week of school for the year, YEAH! But I will have exams the next two weeks after that so I will be dormant in that time as I will have to study instead of doing my stories :-( but then after those I will have two and a bit months free of school so that will be a very productive story time :-) . Until next time Hundan**


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